Direction
Mooest
Old Moos
Moo to Me
Go to Diaryland
Sign My Guestbook!
Read My Profile
Rivers Point Webpage
Favorite URLs
Light a candle
<
My Trading Card
Pictures
The Family
More Furfamily pictures
Quizzes
Prince or Princess
Star Wars Test
100 Acre Wood Test
What Element am I
What Mythical Creature am I
Political Affiliation
Peanuts Character
Atlantian Duke
My Words
One Nation. . .
My Best Day
MY Journey
2002 Retrospection
Let There Be Peace
War Pictures
Best Stolen Stuff
Frodo Has Failed
Archived Pages
Entry 501-Present
Entry 401-500
Entry 301-400
Entry 201-300
Entry 101-200
Entry 1-100
Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2004-04-20 - 10:54 p.m.
Better, thanks!
Physically, I'm doing a bit better today... I stayed home with a true migraine and it was amazing to say the least. It was just as I remembered... light sensitive, temperature sensitive and sound sensitive... and nausea... whoo boy!
Mentally, I'm getting there by degrees, but I stand by what I said yesterday. I'm tired of being "almost good enough" to measure up to some folks' standards. In the midst of my funk yesterday, I came to a realization about myself and I realized that I didn't like what I saw.
I've been busting my ass for years now to bend over backwards to do whatever is asked if me in the hopes that it will get me friends and not just acquaintences... that people will count me as a friend and also know they can count on me when they need something. I realized that the second part is true, but not the first.
I somehow thought that I was being a reliable friend... but I was more of a reliable nobody.
I'm not saying that I don't have friends. I do have them... just not many and I lost sight of the fact that it's okay to not have many.
Out of all of this.. I had two people give me a "I read your diary.. are you okay" phone calls today. That was really neat and definitely what I needed... to those people, thank you. I needed to know that there are people out there who are truly my friends and care what happens to me.
You just don't know what that means to me these days.
It's been another 24 hours of growing... I may not have done it the way I should have, but I learned something and that's what matters.
(in case you don't know... I use this diary to think my way through things and to share my "epiphanies" and growth experiences as well as the funny parts and news of my life. If this isn't what you signed on for... all I can say is... go back to your buddy list and on to the next diary...
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
