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Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2004-01-02 - 8:52 p.m.
You ain't seen NOTHIN' yet!
It's been a while since I updated... I wasn't really sure what to write about.
To be honest, 2003 sucks the big weenie. It was one of the most horrible years of record for me. Everything that could go wrong did. Don't get me wrong, there were some good things to come out of it, too, but for the most part, we spent 12 months doing our damndest to keep our heads about water, and we managed to only just barely.
I'm not going recap the year, that would just be too depressing.
Instead, I'm going to focus on the positives and just let the fact that what sucked... did in fact suck.
In the past year, I've done a lot of growing on a lot of fronts, and for the most part, I've done some growing UP. I guess adversity has a way of shaping you, and how you deal with it determines the shape.
I didn't pick it this year, but I finally settled on making weaving a priority. It makes me happy, it makes me feel grounded and calmed.
That's a positive!
I found friends that I didn't know I had. This year was a wonderful year of learning and exploration. I learned more this year about lots of things than I ever thought I would. People opened their hearts and spent time explaining nuances of things, helping me understand that I'm really not as backwards as I think I am, making me patterns, helping me with underdresses and letting me a part of something. I learned so much, and I'm so grateful that they took the time to help me.
That's a HUGE positive.
I found someone to apprentice to. That was a major part of the year, working towards that beginning. I can't call it an end, because it certainly isn't. It's a big deal to me, and it took a while to understand that it's okay for me to have "big deals". There were many people there for that day, and to share it with them made it all the more sweeter. That was a day I will remember for a long time.
That was another good day!
I've learned some positive things about myself this year. I've learned that I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I've learned that the bastards don't always have to win, and that everything has an end, even the really crappy things.
I weathered the storm at work, and I seem to have come through it relatively unscathed. I managed to keep my job and do a good job inspite of the stress they heaped on me. I also figured out that I'm worth far more than they think I am. The worst is over, but I still don't trust them.
That's a good thing, too
I spent the year looking for people I admire and look up to and finding out WHY I hold them in such high regard. Role models of a sort. I even managed to approach one of those people and tell them so. I know she knew how difficult that was for me, but I'm still so glad I did it. She has been one of my best supporters and the most helpful person I could have found... even in the midst of her own personal trials, she found time to be there for me when I really needed it.
Wow.. I'm lucky!
I have been spending some time thinking about how I think they'd react to things, and what they'd say and do... as a result, I was able to find new ways to do and say what's on my mind, and not think the worst of everyone. That was a hard one.
I'm adopting a different perspective, and I have to say that I like it a lot more. My love used to say I was a hardcore pessimist. I had the idea that I was always going to get screwed, no matter what I do and that people would always do and be their worst.
I don't expect happiness and light everywhere I look, but I have been looking for the good in people and situations, instead of just the dark side.
That's good.
This year, I hope to continue my journey of self-discovery and at the same time, I would like for the job situation to improve for both me and my love.
I've decided to go back to school, once my love has a permanent job. What I'll study when I get there, I'm not sure yet.. but by then, I'll know. Psychology has always held an interest... who knows.. but it doesn't seem hopeless... it is... hopeful.
2004 will be better than 2003 for a number of reasons, but for the most important reason of all... because I refuse to accept another craptastic year. If it doesn't start out wonderful, it will end wonderfully if by nothing else other than the sheer force of my will.
And if you have any doubt about the size of my will.... just wait.. you ain't seen nothing yet!
Good bye 2003; your job here is done.. your negativity isn't needed here.
Welcome 2004, may you enjoy your time here and spread your good fortune to everyone!
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
