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Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-10-17 - 9:52 a.m.
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For all of you folks who aren't interested in my trips to gym.... look down after the line of asterisks, or skip this entry all together.... for those of you who are the slightest bit curious, keep reading.
Well, this morning I got up the nerve to try on a pair of pants that wouldn't fit to save my life a few months ago... they still don't fit.. but they're closer to buttoning than they were. That's a good sign. I figure I need to lose about two to three inches and they'll fit. I haven't been dieting like I should; but the exercising is going pretty good. My problem seems to be in the evening after dinner. Within about two hours, I'm looking for snack stuff and that's bad. I'm sabotaging my efforts and that needs to stop. I think it's more out of boredom than it is a need for more food in my stomach. Our portions have been cut down a bit, and to be honest, after we come home from the gym, I'm hungry, but more because I know it's dinner time, but I'm not STARVING.
My knees are doing MUCH better. The continuous ache has stopped. Now they only ache when I've been standing in one place for a long time. The weights are getting easier, on Wednesday, I upped the weight on some of the machines.
My goal today is another 4+ miles. Since I've made my mileage goal for two weeks straight, I may reward myself on Sunday with a visit to the hot tub after my workout. I never really see anyone using it, so it's not like it'll be crowded. I'm also going to see if I can find a trainer to recommend some sort of exercise for my lower back (it's been giving me a "okay, I'm done" feeling. I think it can use some strengthening.
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Okay... here's food for thought... is it true that your thought processes determine the outcome of endeavors? How easy is it to sabotage your endeavor with just a thought? It's become really obvious to me that I can be my own worst enemy in the thought department. I've been told that I am my own worst critic, but I'm working on correcting that.... I'm trying to be a bit more gentle with myself. I don't expect less of myself, I am just recognizing that I can get the same results but by being a bit more gentle with myself I have a better opinion of myself and my world. I've got these three neatly handwritten and taped to my monitor.
Lately I've been working with these three thoughts....
2. What I think determines the outcome.
3. Self doubt and "poor me" thinking are destructive to my life
#1. You can't have a journey that is full of nothing but success. It's a hard journey, and it won't always be full of success, but just because I don't stick to my path 100%, it doesn't mean that I can't start over and look at each day as a chance to try again. Trying is better than giving up, and it's a way to make progress.
#2. It's all about the mental aspect. I don't think I'm thin, and I try not to do the "when I'm thin I'll"... what I am telling myself when I'm on the treadmill for 10 and I still have three to go and I think I'm going to die is "I can do this, it will be worth the effort, it IS worth the effort". I remind myself that just two weeks ago I was dying at the 8 minute mark...now it's at the 10 minute mark.
#3. To doubt myself is to doubt that I have the power to make a positive change in ME. To indulge in the "Poor me" and "I can't do it" train of thought doesn't get me anywhere, instead it sets me back to a completely horrible time in my life that I've worked hard to get past. It helps to set in motion that depressed-me type of conversation "I can't do it, I'm stupid, I'll never get it right, I'm hopeless." are all ways that I can cut myself to the quick in a heartbeat. I DO have the power to make changes stick, I DO have the power to make things happen in my life. I am NOT hopeless, or stupid. I WILL get it right, and I CAN do just about anything I set my mind to (even draw!).
To work on the outside means I need to work on the inside at the same time. I can do all of that when my head is in a good place. Over the past few months, I've been living in a funk and I'm slowly crawling out of the hole I dug for myself. When I saw my doctor on Wednesday, she asked if I wanted something to replace the Zoloft that made things worse for me physically. I told her that I wanted to try and take care of the depression on my own, without pharmaceutical help for now, since the gym and working out seems to be having a positive effect.
So.. what do you think about my three thoughts?
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
