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Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-07-27 - 9:36 a.m.
Photographs and Memories
I'm home now, and after about 12 hours of sleep, I feel somewhat normal.
My friend has her "weird brother" and sister in law with her now, and her other sister should be there by now too.
His family will be arriving in fits and starts at any time. His son was due to arrive around 10PM last night.
I have to say that I was never more happy to see my beloved then I was when he showed up to collect me.
When I got in the truck I looked at him and told him that I needed to eat, to sleep but most of all, I needed HIM. He smiled and then after a short 10 minute stint at work, he set about taking care of all of those things.
We ate a dinner of comfort food at the Friendly's, then we got home and I crawled in bed with my love (and the dogs) right beside me. I drifted off to sleep safe and secure.
I had dreams, but thankfully I can't tell you what they were about.
Today is the memorial service and since she has family with her, I don't think I'm going. You see, even though we are best friends, and have been for about 20 years, I never met him. Our lives never put in the same place at the same time.
I will go to the funeral to attempt to be of moral support to her. I don't really know what else to do.
All I can say is grief makes us do weird and strange things. I hope she's making reasonable decisions.
She wanted to go see his body and she tried to talk the funeral home into letting her (since she's not legally family, they said no). She is in "nurse mode". Even after they explained the extent of his injuries, she still wants to see him. Her reasoning is so she can tell the family whether or not that's a good idea for THEM not to see him. But the funeral home said no, and they're holding firm. When I left last night, she was fixing to have a conniption fit because they said no. She's not used to that.
I have the memory of how I saw my father after he died, with all of the tubes and the like still attached to him. That haunts my dreams and sometimes my thoughts. In retrospect, that wasn't the best decision I made that day.
The funeral home told her that they are recommending a closed casket (he pretty much hit the dump truck with his face, the left side is so badly damaged they couldn't reconstruct it enough for an open casket funeral). I know for certain that I wouldn't want to see my love that way were he the one who had died. I know that in my heart.
But I did learn something from the experience. Photographs. Lots and lots of photographs. It doesn't matter that I'm fat, or he's not Mr. Universe (that never did matter); but to avoid pictures because of it isn't a valid reason. To put it simply, when we're gone, all our loved ones have left are memories and pictures.
For some reason, she had never taken any pictures of him. That's unusual for her. She used to take pictures all the time.
We have a project to work on today, and I can't think of a better time to start with the picture taking :) We've got two types of cameras in the house, so that shoulnd't be a problem. :)
Okay.. I hear Honey (the dog) and my Hunny (the hubbster) stirring, so it's time to get our day started.
Be well, and give your main squeeze a hug :)
Moonlight...
Not a sound from the Pavement,
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone.
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet,
And a smooth wind, begins to moan.
Memory ...
all alone in the moonlight,
I can smile at the old days.
I was beautiful then.
I remember, the time
I knew, what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.
Every streetlamp
seems to beat a fatalistic warning.
Someone mutters and a streetlamp flutters
And soon it will be morning!
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