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Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-07-18 - 11:49 a.m.
Sisi
Well, I think it was about six months or more ago that I wrote about my Aunt Bertha being at death's door. Well, she's there again, and this time it appears to be for the final time. She's 81 years old and has pretty much given up the fight. Since we last left our intrepid heroine, she has been moved from the home she shared with her third husband until he died and then much later, my mother because she could no longer care for herself. They tried an assisted living facility, but she's a stubborn woman. She fell, fractured her ankle and refused to use her call
button. My cousin (her daughter) found her on the floor when she went to visit. When she was asked why she wouldn't push her call button she said she knew her daughter would be coming eventually and she'd wait. That landed her in the hospital (she fell because she got dizzy because she screwed up her medication regimen). After that, they determined that she couldn't care for herself. She went to a rehab hospital for a while and since then, she's been in and out of the hospital with pneumonia. She's had a "breathing problem" for as long as I've been alive. My mother once told me that as a child, she had a heart condition, but it was never diagnosed. That's why my mom never finished grade school. Her older sister (Bertha) couldn't work and someone needed to support the family because her step-father was a drunk and couldn't keep a job and he woulnd't allow my grandmother to work outside of the home.
At any rate, the closing to sell my aunt's house is supposed to happen something within the next few days and we all think that my aunt just doesn't
want to be around for it to happen. She knows it needs to happen, but still. It's depressing to admit that you aren't what you used to be. She was in the hospital until this morning for pneumonia. They're giving her morphine to help her breathe, but it makes her sluggish. She doesn't want to get up so the nurses leave her be. She doesn't eat unless someone's there to eat with her (they don't have to feed her, just be with her). She's pumped full of antibiotics, but they can't get the fluid and junk out of her lungs. They've done all they can. They've upped her morphine dosage and right now, they're just keeping her comfortable until the end, which the doctor belives will be very soon. She's given up, and I can't say I blame her. She's lasted 81 years, had four children, three husbands and 4 grandchildren.
She was my favorite Aunt during my growing up years. We visited them every other summer for a week or two and they came to visit us for about the same length of time. My Aunt was always loving and sweet and funny, although I think she was in cahoots with my parents over the disappearance of my Teddy Bear Rosie. She was one of the people who took care of me when I couldn't stay out of the pool and got so sunburned I could barely wear clothes when I was ten. She was the one who always demanded we stop at every roadside rest area. She could find ice cream in the unlikeliest of places. She's the person who found Foxwoods for my Mother to play the slot machines.
I will miss her, but she's had a long life, full of love and fun. While it wasn't always that way, she had a sense of humor about her that made anything bad seem to improve just with her presence.
I believe there's an Angel of Death (and no, not the AOD we all know and love)... and I believe it's the mission of the Angel of Death to help those who are dying to go gently. If that's true, I hope the Angel of Death is there with my Aunt, holding her hand and helping her to make peace. I know there's a heaven, and I Know that my parents are both there, and I know that my mother iand grandmother are standing there at the gate, waiting for my Aunt, to hug her and welcome her and speak to her in rapid-fire Italian, with a ready-made canasta group of friends ready to play cards (penny a hand) with a big plate of pasta.. they're italian... you
can't be italian and not have food... it's a genetic rule.
Rest well Sisi, you've been a great Aunt to me, and you'll be missed quite a bit. You've been there even when I didn't know you were there. You've survived the death of husbands, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins and your sister. Now it's your turn. Go in peace and know that you were well loved in life and will be fondly remembered in death.
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