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Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-07-05 - 2:48 p.m.
5 Questions fom Leofwynne
Okay.. leofwynne asked me some questions and it's taken me a bit of time to get the time to answer them as completely as they should be.. so without further ado... here they are....
1. How did Gorm propose to you?
Well, this question varies, depending on whether you ask me or Gorm.. I'll give you MY rendition, and if he wants to, he'll give you his :)
Gorm and I met online. He was living in Nebraska, and I was living here, in Richmond. He was in the midwest and unhappy because his family was all from New England. He and I struck up a friendship and he decided to move east. He mentioned to me that he wanted to come east, but didn't want to go back to Mom and Dad's. At the time, I had a two bedroom apartment and I invited him to come share my apartment. I had met him once before, at a New Year's eve party when he had come east for a funeral, and then again, a few months later when he came to Va on business and came to visit (he spent the week and he knew I had a two bedroom apartment, because he had not only helped me move, but his company paid for the first groceries in that apartment.
Anyway, he came east. That was one puke-scary time in my life. I had invited a stranger to live in my house.. and we were *gasp* living in sin! Yeah, go figure. My mother was aghast!
Shortly after Gorm got here, we found the SCA (like within two months of him being here, he found a job and the SCA, in short order).... we had friends in common outside the SCA (that's how we met)... and two of them happened to be married to each other. I had spent the summer before travellilng to Dumfries to visit them practically every weekend (they had a pool and they were like a second family to my dog.. as a matter of fact, that's where I sent her for a weekw hen she ate my computer.. but that's another story)....
Anyways, Gorm was here and we were working on the beginnings of a relationship when we got a phone call. One of the two people in that couple, the male, had died. He had a heart condition and basically slipped away during the night. He was in his early 30's, I think. They had been together for 7 years, but only married for the last two. According to her, it was because his mother didn't approve (she was a great deal older than he was). (Strangely enough, that's when we met Balynar)
When we got home, Gorm and I sat down and I told him that although I know that Joseph and Susan loves each other the entire time, I wasn't going to wait seven years for him to decide if he wanted a life with me.
I told him he had six months to decide. If the answer was yes, then I was prepared to wait until my own situation was squared away (I wasn't divorced yet); but if the answer was no, then he was going to have to find another living arrangement.
Six months came and went, and he and I got closer and closer, and I knew he was "the one". We were at an event and it was time. He was sitting down in a folding chair and I climbed on his lap. "Well, today's the day...what's it going to be? "Are we getting married or are you moving"? I asked. This really cute look of his spread across his face and he playfully said "well, we might as well, since we're already living together and everything... I might as well make an honest woman out of you!"
I laugh now, because it's the same event that he learned how to run backwards in snow.. ask him about that sometime :)
I took that as a good sign and finished up my divorce proceedings and six weeks later, we were married.
2. Why did you join the SCA, and what is the greatest treasure you have added to your life because of it (besides Gorm!)?
Believe it or not, we joined the SCA because we had planned to do something else one Tuesday night and those plans fell through. Gorm was working with Balynar at the time and Gorm was whining that there was nothing to do. Balynar invited him to a fight practice, and from then we were off!
My greatest treasure... Hmm.. that can be taken two ways.... tangibly... I would say my love of weaving.... I'm not sure I would have pursued it had I not had a "period" peer group.
Intangibly... I'd say it's my self confidence and my emotional stability at times. I suffered from depression for many years (some with medication and some without). I'm doing better now than I think I've ever done in any point in my life. I believe my self-confidence has helped deal with the other issues that I have and to work on the areas that need the help. I spent a great deal of time in abusive relationships of one kind or another, and it leaves a mark. I think the fact that the SCA looks at people as individuals, not as extensions of other people. It makes people strive to be better on their own, not just as part and parcel of someone else.
3. As a craftsperson, what is your biggest challenge in your chosen craft?
My biggest challenge is my own perfectionism. Gorm tells me often that I am my own worst critic. Nope, you won't see that fault corrected on garb, or sewing projects... but look at my weaving... It just kills me if it's not as perfect as I can be. I expect more out myself than anyone ever could. I've told the story of the first project I put in at Coronation back in April. I had spent quite a bit of time setting up the loom and weaving...I was certain I'd done a perfect job... yet the night before we left, I found a "float" (one warp strand that got missed in the weaving here and there). On one side, it didn't show, on the other side, it was as glaring as if it was a red piece of yarn on a black piece of fabric. I couldn't stand it! I found a long needle and a pair of scissors. I cut one end of the offending piece of yarn, pulled it out and then threaded the needed and sat there, sewing the strand of weft in where it should be. I had no choice. It was either do that, or not put it in the competition. Gorm said I had to put it in the competition since i'd worked so hard... so there was no other choice.
WHat is your biggest talent or asset?
Tenacity. I just don't give up. I will keep at something and go through many attempts until I'm satisfied that it's done to the very best of my ability (think two pavilions...)
4. What was your biggest influence into affecting your life now as an adult?
Unconditional love. I know my parents loved me.. but I never knew what unconditional love was all about until I got my dog. When I left my first husband, I got her.. and no matter how little we had, or where we had to live or what I was going through, she was there. She didn't care if I was ugly, fat, skinny, tattooed or if I'd made an ass out of myself just minutes before. She was there. Her big brown eyes are just liquid love. She is 13 pounds of unconditional love.
I have it with her, and that's how I knew what it was when I found it again in Gorm.
Love like that makes you want to do your best. You just know it's there and it's constant, no matter what your day is, no matter how soggy your cornflakes get. Gorm will tell me when he thinks I can do better, but it's not like what I grew up with. It's just different.. that's all I can say.
5. If you could change one thing about the life you lead today, what would it be?
Children. I'd want to be able to have a child. I won't say my life would be complete with one, but it would certainly make it different.
BONUS: Describe your dream weaving/craft set-up....equipment, environment, supplies, etc...
Oh wow... my dream set up.... It would be an old-style ranch home, solid wood from floor to ceiling, air conditioned with lots of direct and indirect sunlight. All of the woodwork would be made of old-wood, polished to a high gloss. The door would have a tiny bell that would tinkle when the door opened. A soft music would waft through the shop, as if it were a scent. The music would have a soft sound, but a discernible beat... and you could swear that if you weren't in the weaving part of my studio, you could hear the "shook smack shook smack shook smack " of the Harrisville.
It would be divided into three rooms. One would be about 900 square feet, and it would be my weaving studio. The other would be abot 500 square feet and would be for my other crafts. The remaining 200 square feet would be the most marvelous bathroom ever seen..a nd it would be mine mine all mine.
The first room would be the weaving studio would have lots of sunlight and the wall not in direct sunlight would be full to overlflowing with yarn of every type and color. They would be arranged by type, then by color. It would be row after rows of rainbows.
Throughout the room would be my looms...all set up and ready to use. I'd have my Harrisville by the large picture window, with another floor loom over to one side. In the middle of the room, I'd have my rigid heddle loom, and then on a small table to the left, would be my inkle loom. The walls would be hung with my creations, ready for a make-me-an-offer purchase price from the people who manage to find my out of the way shop.
The next room would be to the left of the studio room. That would be my finishing and documentation room. It would have a washing machine and a clothes dryer, a computer, and a complete weaving library. The library would contain everything in print about the history of weaving and weave structures as well as about color, and design.
There would be a desk for the computer and printer as well as a huge overstuffed chair to sit in and read.
Over to one side, on the bottom shelf of a bookcase would be a set of True Crime mysteries. (You can't live by weaving alone).
How's that.. anyone have any more questions? :)
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
