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Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-03-25 - 9:45 a.m.
Advice Desperately Needed
Okay folks... I need some advice... my sister is pretty close to freaking out and I need to know what to tell her... here's a bit of the story....
My oldest nephew is 20 (soon to be 21). He's been seeing this woman who has a son, who's about 5 years old. She's close to thirty and her idea of a fun time is to drop her son off with his father and then spend the time in between working at the local bar. She spends a lot of time drunk, and calls my nephew to come pick her up (where she often times gets sick on the way home and is fairly belligerant).
My sister has told my nephew how much she disapproves of this woman...(Did I mention she has a boyfriend but he's not dependable...she calls my nephew when she needs something). My nephew has a good job and is also in the National Guard. He's going to school (paid for by the Guard) and has hopes of becoming a police officer once he graduates. He just bought his first car and in short, has always been a good kid.
His "friend" drinks away her paycheck and would rather party than spend time with her child. My nephew has always loved kids and he's a real push over for someone who needs help.
My sister found out from her younger son that the older one proposed to this person and she accepted. (Did I mention that she has a boyfriend?) Her older son has decided not to tell my sister and his dad until after he moves out of the house. According to the younger brother, they wedding won't take place until sometime in 2004-2006.
I tried to tell my sister that a lot can happen in that amount of time.... but I don't know what else to tell her. She's afraid that he's throwing his life away for this person who is not what she had hoped he'd find in a mate.
In all honesty, part of me wants to tell her that this is what happens when you try to run his life for him up until now.. but this isn't the time or the place. She's hurting and I don't know what to tell her.
I've been so busy with my life I don't really know my oldest nephew all that much, we don't really have a relationship... so it's not like I can just call him and say "What the hell are you thinking?" Besides, I think he's had enough of that already.
My gut feeling is the boy (he's really a man, now) is a caretaker. He's always been that way. He loves kids and he's a sucker for a sob story. I think he has this idea that he can help her get her life straight. I think we're all concerned that it will be at the expense of his own life and dreams and he'll wake up one day and realize that he never had the chance to do what he wanted to do.
In short, what can I do? How can I help my sister or my nephew? Is there anything I can do?
I'll take any advice here folks... this is way outta the range of anything I have any knowledge in.
I've never met her all of this information is what my sister has told me. Part of me thinks that she's the type that thinks so one is good for her son, but I have to admit if even half of what she says is true, then he's in for a VERY rude awakening. Marriage is hard, marriage to someone who's from an environment you're not used to is even harder (that one I know about first hand).
On another note, I found out from my Clan An Drumma contact.. they'll be at the at the Ceilidh on the Friday night of the Celtic Heritage Festival on May 16, 2002. The other point of news is she's going to be auditioning that night for a place in their group. So come to the Ceilidh and cheer her on! (No Heckling Molly, Gorm.. I mean it!)
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
