Direction
Mooest
Old Moos
Moo to Me
Go to Diaryland
Sign My Guestbook!
Read My Profile
Rivers Point Webpage
Favorite URLs
Light a candle
<
My Trading Card
Pictures
The Family
More Furfamily pictures
Quizzes
Prince or Princess
Star Wars Test
100 Acre Wood Test
What Element am I
What Mythical Creature am I
Political Affiliation
Peanuts Character
Atlantian Duke
My Words
One Nation. . .
My Best Day
MY Journey
2002 Retrospection
Let There Be Peace
War Pictures
Best Stolen Stuff
Frodo Has Failed
Archived Pages
Entry 501-Present
Entry 401-500
Entry 301-400
Entry 201-300
Entry 101-200
Entry 1-100
Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-03-03 - 2:35 p.m.
ARRRRRGH!
Can someone PLEASE explain something to me?
Why is it that even though I know a certain family member of mine is as sympathetic as a rock (and I've had 37 years of OJT on this topic), I still try to go to this person for comfort?
Why do I continue to make myself frustrated and then feel like crap afterwards? Why do I keep doing this? Now I'm going to be upset about this too. This day is just getting worse and worse.
Let me back up and explain a bit...About a month ago, my love got let go from his job. The whys and wherefores aren't important. I got hauled into one of the bosses' office and got a lecture that basically said we think you're angry because of him and you're going to screw us over, so we're going to take steps to make sure you don't." My access to do my job was severely hampered; I've bee watched continuously and been made to feel like a convict on lock down. I felt betrayed and humiliated and angry. I came home in tears. I called my family member hoping for a little "righteous indignation" what I got was "consider it from there side.. they felt the need to protect themselves." Why couldn't she had said "I feel your pain, but" but nooooooooo....she made it sound like they were justified. They weren't. I realized it was a mistake to call her, so I carefully ended the call.
Today.. my love is still in court (as of 2PM they hadn't started the afternoon session) and he's got to stay there til his case is called and it's over. There's a VERY good chance we won't make it to Finnr's service. I've done everything I can think of short of a human sacrifice to be there, but it's doubtful it's going to happen. The more time it takes his case to be heard, the less likely it is to get him and me together in time for the service. So I'm bummed.
correspond with her in email about why I'm bummed and her response is "You can always postpone a court case, they need 24 hours notice" when I explained to her that we didn't have 24 hours to notify anyone (we didn't find out until after 9PM on Friday and the courts were closed until this morning); there was no way to get it postponed. Her response was "The Law is more important than a friend; you had 24 hours to postpone it; if you want to be bummed be bummed."
So..can someone explain to me why I allow this to happen? She goes in "spurts" she can be very sympathetic for dogs and children and her boys and her husband and the like, but that's about it and certainly not when it pertains to me.
I'd do better talking to a mirror or the dog than I would talking to her. At least the dog would snuggle up and at least let me think he sees my side.
I'm not asking for her to DO anything, or even to really agree; but sheesh; is it too much to ask that someone at least SEE your side?
Now I'm upset with her and myself. This is a never-ending cycle. She and I talk on the phone and in email pretty often and we normally get along in that venue okay... so I get lulled into this sense of security and I think that I can talk to her, so I do, then BLAM! I hit this wall and it leaves me stunned and unsure where to turn.
I have a best friend, and when stuff like this would happen, I'd relay my tale, she'd listen and then she'd say something stupid like "How dare they! (in mock indignation, of course!)You want I should beat them up then take their lunch money or take their lunch money THEN beat them up? Nuttin's too good for my sistah!" I know that more often than not she didn't agree with my end of things, but she at least saw my side and understood the emotion of what I was going through. In retrospect, it was a dumb conversation but I at least felt like she heard me and she was on MY side. Right or wrong, I could always count on her.
When am I going to stop letting this happen? (Notice I didn't say when am I going to make her stop doing this to me).. I take responsibility for this; but now I have to figure out how to change this. I hate this way I feel when we have these exchanges.
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
