Direction
Mooest
Old Moos
Moo to Me
Go to Diaryland
Sign My Guestbook!
Read My Profile
Rivers Point Webpage
Favorite URLs
Light a candle
<
My Trading Card
Pictures
The Family
More Furfamily pictures
Quizzes
Prince or Princess
Star Wars Test
100 Acre Wood Test
What Element am I
What Mythical Creature am I
Political Affiliation
Peanuts Character
Atlantian Duke
My Words
One Nation. . .
My Best Day
MY Journey
2002 Retrospection
Let There Be Peace
War Pictures
Best Stolen Stuff
Frodo Has Failed
Archived Pages
Entry 501-Present
Entry 401-500
Entry 301-400
Entry 201-300
Entry 101-200
Entry 1-100
Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-02-28 - 1:03 p.m.
Friday Thoughts
I've probably checked my rhi-mail no less than twenty times this morning. What am I looking for? I'd love to see an email telling me this hasn't happened; but I know it has. I hadn't spent a lot of time in Finnr's company.. but that's how Finnr was. You didn't have to sit down with him for hours on end or know him for years to call him a friend.
I miss him, and I have to admit that I'm scared. Scared for Karin, scared for me. What would I do if the same horrible set of events pointed their finger at me. How would I cope? What would I do? Who would be there for me?
When I hung up from talking to Karin last night, I sat there for the longest time, not saying anything. I was trying to get my thoughts to put themselves in some sort of conherent order, but they weren't listening. Everything I said for the rest of the night had an edge and a temor in it, like the dam would burst at any second.
I didn't sleep last night, wondering if my worst fear would come true during the night. I was so upset that the dogs didn't sleep and everytime my love moved, I was awake, happy to feel his movement, happy to hear him talk in his sleep.
Before we went to sleep last night, I made him promise that once his new insurance takes effect he would get a physical. He promised me he would. I know, it won't keep him safe, but it would make me feel better. It's worth that little bit of cash to give me a moment's peace.
I know I drove him insane when we first got together. My love would eat antacids like they were candy. It bothered me to no end. I begged and pleaded with him to go to a doctor, but he refused. I tried to explain to him about my father and the "indigestion" he felt for days before his heart attack. I described the handfuls of antacids and peppermints that I pulled out of his suit pockets, trying to calm his "indigestion". He'd been having "indigestion" for quite a long time.
From the deaths of both of my parents, I came away with many things unsaid many feelings unshared. I vowed not to ever do that again.
A lesson learned. Even in death, they can still teach us.
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
