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Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2003-01-17 - 9:00 a.m.
work
I woke up this morning and came to a decision. I hate my job. I really really don't like what I'm doing, and I hate the thought of getting up to go to work in the morning. I don't like what I do, and I don't like how we do it. I believe in my heart that what we do is unfair and arbitrary and I just can't take the favoritism that is so rampant around here.
On two occasions, I've tried to "rise above" and find something else within the struggling company, and both times well, it didn't go so well.
It's hard to read about the hardships of people on a day to day basis and decide whether or not they are sufficiently injured to get the millions they believe they are entitled to. It's difficult to read the statements about how their life has changed since the thing happened. It's really heart wrenching stuff, except for when it's more about people wanting to soak the company than it is for people who were genuinely injured. Those people just make me angry.
So I can start the job hunt. There's just one problem. There is really only one thing that I know how to do and that's secretarial work and this job is a subset of that; and well, I never wanted to be a secretary and I hate doing the job.
I'm not trained for anything else, and I don't have a college degree. That qualifies me for waitress, janitorial staff and quite a few other low paying professions. Don't get me wrong, I think they're all wonderful professions, but they're not for me.
I've worked in a clerical capacity since 1985; that's 17 years (18 in March).
I wanted to be a teacher way back when. My father decided that I should go to business school, because "the world will always need secretaries" and my grades were average, not spectacular, so college scholarships were not an option. I had no idea about grants and etc. then, I figured Dad knew best.
Many years later, I started college (thanks to a state employee benefit). I had a great time with Psychology and English Composition courses. I even managed to breeze through a sociology and a class on Death; but Math got me. Squarely between the eyes. I've made three attempts at Algebra and all three have ended in failure. I go swimmingly along and then WHAM, I hit a wall of incomprehensibility and it all falls apart like a house of cards. Suddenly, when A plus B equals C, I can't grasp that while A plus B equals C, that D minus F is Q.
So that ended my college career.
To sum it up, I have came to the realization that I have very few skills and no real chance at a career. The best I can hope for is a job.
And oh yeah, in response to Blackbear's rant on teachers and police officers, and Leofwynne's comments on Speech Pathologists...let me tell you... secretaries get paid even less, they're taken for granted just as much (if not more) and the opinion of most is that a trained monkey can do what I do (and they don't have to be trained all that well, either). Most employers count on the fact that the majority of secretaries are women and we don't need a huge salary. To put it into perspective... I've been working in my "field" for almost 18 years... my love's been in his for about 6 years and he makes just over twice what I do. I don't begrudge him the fact that he has a college degree and a few years of Grad School; and I know that teachers and police officers and the like all go to college and specialty schools to get the skills they need. I went to business school to learn how to be a Word Processing Secretary. Yep, I've got the "diploma" too, and nope, it's not the same as a real degree. But it's the best that some of us can do. It's from a very prestigious (at least in Richmond) school, but it might as well be scrap paper.
I need a change, but at least today, it's looking like there are more doors closed to me than there are open ones.
Maybe I should just be content with what I have, it's a paycheck. Maybe this is all there is for me and I should be happy with the status quo. I want better, I want more, but I'm seriously beginning to wonder if that's possible and that maybe this is all I can do.
I guess my dad was right. I won't starve and there will always be a roof over my head..
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
