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Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2002-07-01 - 10:29 a.m.
Dreams
I had a dream this weekend that shook me up quite a bit. So much so, that I woke up my love to comfort me. It was the absolute worst topic for a dream... someone I love leaving me. I don't know where it came from, but to say it rattled me is an understatement. I'm chalking it up to being way over tired after baronial champions, eating weird food (feast); and the like.
I believe that dreams are our own mind's way of taking things out, trying them on, seeing how a particular situation works. Sometimes, our mind takes out our greastest fears and lets them have free reign, not necessarily to come to a decision of sorts, but just to trot it out and see how it works and the effect it would have. It doesn't always end happily, sometimes it never ends, and sometimes it's a serial dream.
I've always been good at waking myself up and realizing it was a dream and making myself go back to sleep. I woke up this time, and I knew it was a dream, but it still scared the pants off of me.
Usually, when I have dreams, if they wake me up, it's only momentarily, and then I can go right back to sleep. This one unnerved me so much, I woke my love. That's really unusual. Even in his sleepy state, he was able to make enough sense to make me understand that what I had dreamed didn't happen and wasn't going to happen. It was nice to know that he was there, to hold me and cuddle with me a bit, to chase the bad dream away, to show me I was still safe and loved and cared for regardless of what the dream said. It's amazing how much we take for granted what we really have and don't even realize it.
I rarely go to someone else for comfort, but when I need to, he's the first person I think of, and I have to admit that he's done an amazing job at it. He knows when I'm scared, when I'm worried and when I'm stressed. I always thought I was really good at hiding that sort of stuff from others... I can from everyone else, but not from him. He knows.
This weekend he was extremely patient. He let me sit on the sofa and paint something for a few hours while we watched tv. It was nice to have him near enough I could talk to him, but not so close we were bumping elbows. He knew I needed to feel him near me even though it had been several hours since I'd had my dream, I was feeling a bit insecure. He went out of his way to show me that it wasn't true and wouldn't be true if he had anything to do with it.
It's really amazing how a dream can affect your waking moments. I won't go into details about it, I'd just really rather not. I didn't wake up crying, I woke up fearful and scared and I felt so alone, which is worse.
He took care of me with an arm around me and some cuddling. Yep, he really is my knight in shining armor. I got the fairy tale after all.
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