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Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2002-05-31 - 12:43 p.m.
Dieting Declarations
If you're not in the mood to hear a fat chick go on a diatribe about diets and how unsatisfying it is, you might want to skip this entry.
I'm in a funk right now... about food. For those who don't know, I've been trying pretty hard to lose weight. I drink slim fast shakes for breakfast, and I try to eat a resonable lunch (about 350-400 calories) and dinner, but I gotta be honest.. I'm tired of eating like a bird and nothing seems to be happening. Now, after about a month and a half of eating like this, I've suddenly realized that I'm HUNGRY and weight isn't getting anywhere.
I'm tired of drinking water, and I'm tired of going to bed hungry. I'm tired of feeling deprived and working to NOT be depressed. I've had one coke in almost two months. Yep, there are things I could do to make it work faster, but right now, today, I'm frustrated.
There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything that I need to get done as it is, and then we add exercise into it, and that just makes me feel even more overwhelmed.
The doctor wants to send me to a nutritionist, which isn't a bad idea... it has to be "medically necessary" which means I'm staring at a "morbidly obese" diagnosis; and the nutritionist is gonna tell me "you have to eat less and exercise more". Ummm okay.. tell me something I don't know. How can I eat less and NOT constantly feel like I could slap some closed cell foam between some bread with a little mayo and call it a snack?
I'm going to ask him for an appetite suppressant, but how do I know I won't end up like some of the diet drug recipients did?
I gotta exercise more self control, but ya know, that sucks... I never learned much about that. I can't really depend on my love to keep me in check, it's not really up to him. It's up to me. I've got a "motivation" list on my computer at work, to motivate me not to visit the vending machine, but I do anyway. When I'm bored, I eat.
I need to figure out a fix for this. I'm sure there is one, but I've gotta figure out what it is.
My love says we need to get back to using the treadmill, and he's right, but when I use it, I feel dizzy and queasy when I'm done. My body feels like it's fighting me, and I can't figure out how to "win"... it's a constant battle I had no clue about.
My parents were and my siblings are overweight, we didn't eat "sensible" meals at our house, so I never really got a grasp of what a "normal" sized meal is; and now my stomach is used to large meals and my head says I'm still hungry.
I think it's time to make some changes again. I'm not sure where to start, but I *have* to start somewhere. I know I do, I just don't want to, but I don't want to be this fat either. I know it's not healthy and to be honest, it sucks. I hate salads and tasteless foods. I hate exercising. I hate being in pain for days after.
I want it to be easy. I want it to be immediate, and I want it to last forever.. is that too much to ask?
sigh... I think I'll go have a rice cake... ummm.. yeah, yum, that's it!
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
