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Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2002-05-07 - 8:36 a.m.
Part II.
After the funeral, to say things were ugly would be an understatement. My father was just buried and my half sister was trying to find out about her "inheritance" while her husband and his brother were stealing my father's tools. My brother was asking my mother for $3,000.00 to pay off some debts. My mother wasn't in a position to give anyone anything until we were able to know how much money she had to live on. She asked me what she should do. I told her to give me the checkbook and tell them just that.
I called my parents' financial advisor and we planned a meeting for the following week. He asked me to look through my father's papers and compile a list of assets and what was owed. As I sat at my Father's desk and looked through his things, I found a legal pad. On the second sheet of the legal pad he had written out the information I was searching for.
We met with the financial advisor and while my mother sat there and cried, he and I talked. With good investing, she would have enough money to last her well into her hundreds.
Once the meeting was over, she wrote out a check to each of the "kids" giving us each $3,000.00. My half sister disappeared off the face of the earth and never did collect the "inheritance" she wanted so desperately.
From that point on, I was making the financial decisions for my Mother. She had no idea about anything related to money. That was my Dad's area. She didn't even know that you had to make payments on credit cards. She hadn't balanced a checkbook in over 30 years.
Now my older sister wasn't thrilled with the decisions I was making and how I was dealing with my mother. She made no bones about calling to tell me so... often and loudly, almost on a daily basis. After a month of my mother crying everytime I left the room, and dealing with my sister's phone calls I had had enough. When my sister called to tell me how inept I was at handling things I not so politely told her that if she was unhappy with my decisions, she could leave her little bit of heaven and come down to hell with me and make the decisions, and I hung up. The phone calls stopped.
I called my mother's doctor and explained her state of mind and my rapidly declining health and rising stress. He asked how he could help. I told him I needed a break. He suggested she come in for an appointment. After that appointment she smiled for the first time since it all started. She wanted to go visit her sister in Connecticut. I gladly helped her pack and drove her to Connecticut. My sister was NOT happy with this. She called and yelled at me, then she called Connecticut and yelled at my mother, accusing her of abandoning the family and running away from her problems. After a week of haranguing, my mother decided she would come back, but only after all of my father's things were gone. My sister volunteered me for the job.
I called my brother and asked him to help, he said no. There being no one else, I had the chore of emptying the pockets of his suitcoats, folding up the rest of his clothing and disposing of everything else. It was a daunting task, and a sad one, and I was alone. I had huge hives just thinking about it. I did what had to be done, as quickly and quietly as possible, then went to my bedroom and went to sleep. When I woke up, the hives were gone.
My mother came home with an announcement.. she would go to live with my sister, and I would have to move out of the house because she was giving it to my brother to live in for the next year.
Tomorrow... the next years (it'll be shorter, I promise)
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
