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2002-02-17 - 8:39 a.m. Random thoughts at 8:39a.m. Well, you'd think that since today is pretty much a day of shopping that I'd be moderately happy about it.. but I'm not. We've got to the fabric store and get some of the cotton webbing and some "practice canvas" Then it's off to the hardware store for two 1.5" welded rings, a 12 inch long 3/8 diameter nail for top spike, and six feet of 1/2 wide dowel rods, 18 feet of thin cotton rope and some brad nails with large heads (for a different project). After all that, it's off to the Catherine's down to look at buying something appropriate for interviews, while my love either sits in the car and "guards" our new treasures, or he goes off to the Radio Shack nearby only to appear back at the Catherine's with a little boy grin and an "I've got something to show you!" Then it's to the grocery store for the twice monthly event I like to call "In Search of Beef!" I'm still tired from yesterday. We moved an industrial sewing machine and table from a friend's house to ours, she graciously offered to let us borrow it, never having met us before. It was in her storage shed, and he moved boxes and stuff to get to it (it wasn't hard work, just dusty); We got the machine and table, home and in one piece (it's got a motor mounted under the table that drives the machine) but there are a few things we need to figure out; we'll get there, but last night was a bit frustrating to say the least. I have an older sister,whom I really love quite a lot. She and I have grown a lot closer to each other since our parents died. Bless her heart, I think she does this out of care and concern and a want to help; she makes "suggestions" about things that she thinks I should do and wear and how I should act and well, those things aren't me. She is in her 40's, quite a bit thinner than I am (not a stick); her hair is short and always coiffed. I don't think I've ever seen her without make up since she was about 16. She spends summers by the pool working on her tan, she drives a nice car, she lives in a townhouse in a pretty affluent part of the U.S. and she has certain opinions about things that just don't jibe with the way I live my life. She finally got off the "come up here and look for a job" I hate it where she lives. It's very fast paced, everything is on top of each other, everyone is very aggressive (driving and just interacting with one another); to me, that's not "high living". She just bought a townhouse not too long ago and just before I found out I was to be laid off, she spent a few hours trying to convince me that I should try to buy our house. We're not ready to buy this (or any other) house yet. We want a sizable downpayment and good credit, not just good enough credit. I've been married for less than 5 years, she's been married for 20 and just bought her first house. I hope it won't take me that long, but I'll get to it. I don't want to get in over my head, is that so terrible? Once I told her about the layoff, she descended on me with a "you need to get a haircut and you need to get your makeup and colors analyzed"; I know a place near here that's not too expensive (for her, that could be $100). My hair is just past my shoulders, and the last time it was cut was back in September. Okay, it IS in need of a trim, I'll grant you that, but she was trying hard to convince me that I needed it cut REALLY short, and "coiffed" that since I wasn't a teenager anymore, I needed to leave the long hair behind me. And since OUR hair is thin but lots of it, it tends to look stringy and unkempt. (I loved the OUR hair part) I tried to explain to her that I like my hair length and color (I recently re-colored it); when it's trimmed and styled, it doesn't look stringy and dirty, it can look very nice with a minimal amount of effort. She tried the "you need to get it cut short and then have a perm with large rods." I finally had to tell her that there was no way in hell I was ever having another perm. My little orphan annie days are over! (when I have my hair permed, the natural curliness of my hair makes even the big rod curls turn really funky and it's a mess!) then she moved onto makeup and clothes. I've never liked makeup. I'll wear it when I have to, but it's not an everyday sort of things for me. Yep, I'd get used to it eventually, and I'll probably have to wear it for the new job (whatever that is); but I don't need to pay someone $100 to tell me orangebased colors look like crap on me. As for clothes, I've been working in offices for 17 years now, and I've paid attention. I know what professional dress, business casual and casual dress are all about. I don't need a lecture on what's what and what a particular office means by "business casual". She's never been to this law firm, she has no clue what their definition of "business casual" is. I have someone who works there, and I've visited there, so I at least have a little clue. I love her dearly, but she isn't always right. I don't want to argue with her, but somewhere in my 36 years, I do have a clue about some things in life, and the others, well, I want to discover them myself. She can't protect me from myself or others around me. I am an adult and I wish she would recognize that and know that while I do appreciate the benefits of her "wisdom" what's right for her and her world isn't right for me. In a lot of ways, I am her opposite. She says what she pleases when she pleases and how she pleases. I tend to be a bit more diplomatic and I tend to think about the other person a lot more. I enjoy space and I love a slower pace to my life than she does. Sometimes I wonder how two people from the same parents can be so different. I'm also not really looking forward to going to work tomorrow, but I guess that's how it's going to be for the next 39 working days (I'm taking off a day for my birthday, and yes, I think that's wise... I gotta do something for me in all of this!). Friday was oh so much fun, some people either avoided me completely, or others gave me that "kicked dog" look and were all full of sympathetic (but reasonably hollow) words you say during something like this. A few were taken aback by my happy attitude and oh so cheerful disposition (I think they were wondering if I was about to go postal). The truth is, I'm not. I see no point in making everyone pay for Governor Gilmore's stupidity. For whatever reason, they've decided that my job is unnecessary and they want me out, and I want out. I'm just hoping the job at the law firm comes in for me so I don't have to through the next 40 days like this. Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE! |