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2002-01-30 - 4:34 p.m. Prayer For everyone who's been reading (which by the stats is about two of you, and I think of ya'll is my dog); you know I've been having a really rough week. Last night I had reached the absolute end of my rope, and no there wasn't enough left to tie a knot. I was seriously considering grabbing my puppy and just running away from home. She'd gladly come with me, no questions asked.... unconditional love is like that. I worked on the office budget projection at home for an additional two hours before finally deciding it was done and I packed it in for the night. I spent from 9-11 going over the budget in my head, then from 11-12:30 I laid there in bed, with the lights off, my love snoring quietly beside me, staring at the smoke alarm... our alarm has a red light that blinks every two minutes, did you know that??? No, I don't guess you did. My stomach was in knots and I was frustrated beyond words. I was ready to come here in my diary and say the things that you know you shouldn't, just in case the right/wrong people happen to find it, and just tell everyone to piss off. That I knew I wasn't ever going to be any good at this budget stuff, and that I couldn't blame people for not wanting me to be a part of their household (a household is a group of people that share a common interest or goal), and that I really can't blame people for not wanting to be all that friendly towards me. I almost got out of bed to get online to come to diaryland and speak my piece, but for some reason, I didn't.... I was "stirred up" as my Dad would say. To make a long story short, I was feeling really low. I'm not sure how it happened, but in some point during all of that mental tirade, and feeling utterly alone and useless, I started looking around in my head for something comforting... and I found the rosary prayers. I said a few "rounds" of Hail Marys, an Our Father and a Glory Be and the next thing I knew, I was dumping my entire week in God's lap. I had just reached the end of what I could cope with. It all tumbled out, every last word and thought and when it was over, I just laid down and slept. Something I hadn't been able to do soundly in almost two weeks. I woke up this morning with a new "can do" attitude and things look much brighter today. I spent some time talking to someone I consider to be a good friend about some issues she's been having lately. And it made me feel good to concentrate on what's been going on with her, instead of being so "woe is me". Today hasn't been a perfect day, but it's been better than most recently. And I'll be more than happy to take it and be ecstatic with it. Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE! |