Direction Mooest Old Moos Moo to Me Go to Diaryland Sign My Guestbook! Read My Profile Rivers Point Webpage Favorite URLs Light a candle < My Trading Card Pictures The Family More Furfamily pictures Quizzes Prince or Princess Star Wars Test 100 Acre Wood Test What Element am I What Mythical Creature am I Political Affiliation Peanuts Character Atlantian Duke My Words One Nation. . . My Best Day MY Journey 2002 Retrospection Let There Be Peace War Pictures Best Stolen Stuff Frodo Has Failed Archived Pages Entry 501-Present Entry 401-500 Entry 301-400 Entry 201-300 Entry 101-200 Entry 1-100 Last Five Entries Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question |
2004-02-05 - 11:18 p.m. I'm having a "Moment" You've been warned! I'm stressed, tired, scared and worn. I'm feeling disconnected and disjointed and I'm in pain (nothing unusual there)I'm sitting here wondering if it's all worth it. The good news is.. it's only going to get worse. Yeay me. I really think I bit off more than I could reasonably chew with my class, none of the things I had in mind are panning out and it all looks to be a complete and total disaster. I've spent two night warping a loom that for all intents and purposes isn't going to be usable unless I can rewarp it with a wider sett, in between getting everything else together. Add to the stress of my class, the possibility of a confrontational type of conversation with two people and something else looming overhead, and well, I'd like to retreat into a nice warm, dry cave and not come out until...oh...say Spring of 2020. The worst part is, I'm feeling stress now, and the worst of it hasn't even happened yet. And while my diabetic "problem" is no where what Geniealisa's is... as she once said.. I still have a pancreas, while hers is a really stunning decoration... but it's still a pain in the ass to not feel good, to be blunt, to feel like crap 24/7, to go through the finger stick stuff (when I remember), to watch what I eat (when I'm not running full steam ahead and I can think farther than 10 minutes ahead), but it's a pain in the ass. I hate the fact that there are parts of me that are as useless to me as Geniealisa's pancreas is to her, but I have to deal with them. Most of the time, I can deal, until I realize that I'm getting older and things aren't going to get better, I'm just going to get older. My sister had a skin biopsy that turned out to be "abnormal cells". They did another one, and they found more "abnormal cells". They got them all, but she has to go back every three months so they can "monitor" her to make sure she doesn't really develop cancer. She's got a plan in place and I'm really glad... but it's the "C" word. Yep.. I'm feeling sorry for myself, it's what I want to do, and I've scheduled 10 minutes for it, so I'm entitled to it. I'm hungry, I wish I had some chocolate.. with the mood I'm in, I'd like to eat my weight in M&Ms (peanut).. that's my craving lately. Time for me to stop sitting here at the computer, trying hard not to cry too loudly (I hate sniffling), so I'd better dry up and get to bed. This really is pointless. Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE! |