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Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2002-09-11 - 12:35 p.m.
Today and last year...part II
I was at work, doing some mundane day to do day task when one of the professors walked in to my office, white as a ghost. Her husband had just called to tell her the plane hit the WTC. The second one hit as we scrambled for radios and news. I was shocked, but it took a while for the depth of what happened to sink in. I called in sick the next day and glued myself to the tv, watching the plane hit the tower over and over and over, trying to make sense. I saw people running and jumping and that's when it hit me... this was real, these were REAL people going through hell. I sat there and tried to make sense out of something senseless. It took me months to hear "nine-eleven" before my heart would stop lurching to the pit of my stomach and those horrible pictures float back before my eyes.
I went to work in a highrise office building in March following that horrible day, and that's the first thing I thought of.
What do I think of now? The people I care about and love. My friends, my family and realizing that the hurts and arrows I've suffered aren't all that big when you compare them to people who lost spouses, parents, and comrades who were there one minute and gone the next.
How am I different? I appreciate what I have and how I came to have it. I appreciate the friends and loved ones I have, knowing that any one of them could be gone.. standing next to me one minute, and just not there.
I had a friend who was in contact with many people from the WTC through her job... one minute they were there, the next they were gone. It's hard to reconcile that, but you do... You *have* to.
The world paused, but it didn't stop... no matter how hard they tried.
I'm not taking part in the ceremonies today. I choose not to. Not because I don't care about those who died or those who do what they can to keep us safe. I choose not to because I believe that by continuing to do what I do, they don't win. Our country prospers and we grow stronger when they don't win and change our way of life. I will mourn those people who died quietly and by myself. I will celebrate the lives lived and the importance of what happened, but in the words of someone (I can't remember who)....
we celebrate in silence and apart,
those secret anniversaries of the heart.
This one will always and forever be mine. I'll never forget.. my heart won't let me, my mind won't let me.
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