Direction
Mooest
Old Moos
Moo to Me
Go to Diaryland
Sign My Guestbook!
Read My Profile
Rivers Point Webpage
Favorite URLs
Light a candle
<
My Trading Card
Pictures
The Family
More Furfamily pictures
Quizzes
Prince or Princess
Star Wars Test
100 Acre Wood Test
What Element am I
What Mythical Creature am I
Political Affiliation
Peanuts Character
Atlantian Duke
My Words
One Nation. . .
My Best Day
MY Journey
2002 Retrospection
Let There Be Peace
War Pictures
Best Stolen Stuff
Frodo Has Failed
Archived Pages
Entry 501-Present
Entry 401-500
Entry 301-400
Entry 201-300
Entry 101-200
Entry 1-100
Last Five Entries
Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2002-02-13 - 3:20 p.m.
Update....43 days left in Hell
As my darling Love reported, things are better. I am still a very unhappy camper at the way this is unfolding. I expected better from those who were in a position of authority. For the most part, I still think they were cowardly weasels and the way this is going just confirms those suspicions even more.
I have been spending the day at home today working on my state application and my resume. I've even managed to send that resume and a cover letter out to six different job prospects (thanks to Karen and the magic of e-mail. I've put my resume up on Monster.com and hotjobs.com. There is very little else I can do at this point, other than wait.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to look at other state jobs, or take the no stress route and just go do something like be a cashier or a fabric store employee; something with a more manageable amount of stress involved. This is my third time in the gunsights of the state in 9 years. That's too much to ask anyone. Supposedly, having a state job meant that while the pay sucked, there was security... ummm.. in a word... right.. sure... whatever.
It's going to be hard to sit at my desk for the next 43 work days (yep, I've started the count down). I'm used to actually doing something for 8 hours a day; yeah it sounds like a cushy job, but I know my boss, towards the end, I'm going to be doing stuff like cleaning out filing cabinets or other busy work.
I haven't slept much in the past 24 hours. I was up around 4Am this morning playing Diablo II (I needed to kill something inanimate before my attitude and mood overtook me.)
This is very hard for me to adjust to. I was raised by two "older" parents. My mother was 42 when I was born and my father was in his late 30's. They both come from families where you are judged and defined by the work you do. If you don't work, then you have no worth. If you're layed off, it must be something you've done or not done. Both of my parents are gone now, but I can still hear them (I have experience with being layed off more than I care to admit to); "what did you do to get layed off?" "Why didn't they lay off someone else"? I did nothing, this wasn't MY doing, and as for the other question, I have no freaking clue why I was one of the ones chosed. It wasn't explained to me why the axe came my way; Right now, I feel very tired, and inadequate and worthless, like I wasn't worth the consideration it woudl take to be kind to a human being in this situation. I'm angry because I feel like my hard work and good nature was taken advantage of. I trusted my boss to at least be honest with me, not hide from me and then make excuses for his actions. That hurt the most.
To all of my friends: I appreciate your concern and your help, all emails are welcome as usual, regardless of the topic, but please don't tell me "it's all for the best", I've heard that so many times in the past 24 hours, I'm really not gonna take it well.
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
