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Veteran's Day and an Etiquette Question
2002-02-03 - 9:37 p.m.
We're in the "Minor Leages"
I'm not as insightful as balynar or colin-g; and I don't ever really talk about anything meaningful. I often wonder why I even post or more importantly why I bother to read the diaryland entries of those folks that I like and have respect for.
They spend their entries talking about events in their lives and cool things that happen, even the mundane, day to day stuff is interesting. Could I be THAT hard up for friends that I'd be a voyeur into their life? Am I really that sorry that I need to peek into their worlds to see what I'm missing?
I do know that in some ways, I'm jealous of what they have. Due to circumstances in my past, I'm never going to have the home life they have. I'm not ever going to know what it's like to be a parent, or to be pregnant' I wonder what it's like.. to have a life growing that you had a hand in creating. Building that "family" dynamic. A friend once told me being "with child" is a wonderful experience, but being "pregnant" sucks.
I wonder what it's like to really be a part of a group of people, whether it be a household or a conglomeration of households. Sometimes it's really hard to be on the outside of things. My friends are really cool, don't get me wrong; they've never been anything but nice and curteous to me; always helpful and everything that friends are. I'm not saying a bad thing about any of them. I'm just rather envious of what they have.. the connection they seem to have with each other. They always seem to be doing stuff and busy and working on new and exciting things.
I've talked here before about wanting to be an apprentice or to belong to a household, but the truth is, at this point, I don't really have anything to bring to either situation, so all in all, it's probably best that I don't have that sort of relationship with someone right now. I'm working on it, but I have to admit to a bit of enviousness when I hear people talk about their "patron" or who they're apprenticed to.
It's been four years since we first joined the SCA, and someone gave us advice that was good way back when. THey told us not to join a household for the first year, and I have to say that if I'd known that household offer I had in the very beginning was the only one I was going to have in four years, I would have taken it.
The hobby that we've chosen can be either extremely difficult or incredibly easy, it depends on how you do it. When you have friends or other people to depend on for parts of things, it makes it a LOT easier. When it's just you, it's harder, a LOT harder.
Now I do know that in all fairness being in fealty to someone isn't always easy and there is a *lot* of work and generally you have to prove yourself worthy to be asked invited to that inner circle.
I once said I'd like to be an apprentice to a Laurel, to which I was told that was nothing more than being in a household and anyone could do what I was looking for. The person spoke as if being in a household was a bad thing. He was the patron of a household and while he wanted my husband as a household retainer, I was "fluff" for lack of a better word. We aren't a package deal after all, I guess. Yeah, that was back in the summer, and I shouldn't be stuck on that. I've got issues, I guess.
I am also a chirurgeon which means I start off as an apprentice to a Master Chirurgeon. I have two friends that I asked if I could be their apprentice. They said yes, but they don't see it as a "formal" type of apprenticeship; so it's kinda unfulfilling; and not what I expected. My love has been extremely supportive and told me that if they wanted a fealty type of apprenticeship, he would be all for it; but that's not what they wanted. I seem to find lots of people who like me and us; but we're obviously missing that "certain something" whatever it is. I wish I knew what it was. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I dunno
***major newsbreak.... the PATRIOTS JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL!***
Which is probably another reason why I'm still back in the minor leagues so to speak. I often wonder why I bother. I spend a lot of time working my behind off and I spend a lot of time in my husband's shadow, being the power behind the Gorm. It's helpful to him, and if that's all I do, I'll end up riding his coat tails so to speak; and I don't mind that; not at all really. I just wish WE were part of something; where folks cared if we go to events or not, or invited us to do stuff once in a while.
All of this just begs the question... what does one have to do to get out of the minor leagues and into the majors in the SCA. Can someone answer that for me, Please?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Please don't forget to answer my survey... it's research for a small business idea... all comments appreciated, no reasonable offer refused!!! It won't take five minutes, I PROMISE!
